I’ve come to believe that when it comes to embracing and expressing what God’s word says about men and women it is important that we adopt a posture of humility and display an attidtue of honour.
Humility and honour.
Let’s start with honour.
It’s clear that the first century church established an equal place for and honour of women alongside men in the covenant community of the church. From Jesus’ initial self-disclosure to the Samaritan woman, to the acceptance of Mary among the men when teaching, to Luke’s statement about the church’s first prayer meeting that “all these were with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer together with the women.”, to Paul’s list of companions in Romans 16 (9 of them are women), through to his emphatic “let a woman learn” in 1 Timothy 2 and his insistence that Junia (along with her husband) was “outstanding among the apostles.” Women are also honoured among Jesus’ disciples and act as their benefactors, supporting and supplying them with all their needs.
The fact that women are elevated and honoured among God’s people, and were considered their equal in effective ministry, is in keeping with the Bible’s anthropology more generally. There is no sense in which femininity (or being “feminine”) is ever used negatively.
The church (the apple of God’s eye), is referred to in feminine terms and is called simply ‘Dear lady” by the apostle John (2 John 1:1). Also, of note, is that within the first few centuries of the church’s life it became common to express reverence for and devotion to Jesus’ mother. This remains in the Roman Catholic Church to this day and in Protestant churches up until very recently (note: the Reformers themselves continued the tradition of Mary-honour). The fact remains that the female and the feminine already had an exalted place within in minds of the early christians. In a church like this (where a woman was so highly exalted) it would likely have been the case that women were held in higher esteem than the culture around them. In reality this is what we find, since churches were disproportionately populated by women.
Any church worthy of the name must be a place free from dishonourable forms of behaviour between the sexes. Not only must women be treated with purity as sisters, they must also be cared for in times of hardship, indeed an entire office of ministry was created for the care of women (widows - Acts 7).
In practical terms honouring someone means more than simply speaking well of them. It means behaving in ways that make our honour explicit. Different cultures express this differently, but in every culture there are appropriate and expected ways of showing honour. In my culture I honour someone by inviting them into my home, in other cultures I honour someone by turning up at their home. This is where an understanding and identifying of our culture’s codes and symbols becomes important. Our culture has undergone something of an egalitarian and feminist revolution. Building on its Christian foundations it extrapolated out a case for the equal treatment of women in the workplace and society. In light of this we must be prepared to think through our practises.
In Romans 12 Paul writes that we must “outdo one another in showing honour” (R12:10). We must aim at this and since honour is both private and public, subtle and explicit it’s important that our churches aim at both.
We must also show humility.
No doubt it has been the temptation of every generation to consider themselves the superiors of their ancestors - we’re the ones who are alive after all, so we must be doing something right! However when it comes to our place in the world, the church and history the proper posture is one of humble deference. This is because the Holy Spirit has presided over and governed our Christian family for millennia and when we read the Scriptures we aren’t only examining an ancient text, but relying on the Spirit to teach us.
I once spoke to a local vicar who declared himself to be affirming of same sex marriage. As I walked away what troubled me most was the apparent hubris of it all. ‘Do we really have the authority to act like this,’ I thought. Do we have authority to change what our Christian family has always believed? This isn’t because we reverence the Bible but because the Spirit speaks to us in the scriptures, and not only us but them (our dead ancestors) as well.
We must show humility for the way the Holy Spirit has led our brothers and sisters throughout history, humility for how he has led his people to understand the meaning of the sexes, and humility for the plain meaning of the texts. We don’t have the authority to change the texts even if (and when) we don’t understand why they say what they say.
It is the case that throughout the history of the church, the readers of the Spirit inspired scriptures, have understood them to acknowledge a differentiation of role between men and women. Evidenced by the historic reality of men holding positions of seniority in churches. We may not like it or agree with it but it is nevertheless the case that our christian family thought this was the appropriate ecclesiastical organisation.
Some may read back into history various reasons for doing so: sexism, misogyny or the fact that men held a monopoly on power in the wider culture as well, or that people believed women to be less capable than men. Those things may well have been true for some (maybe even many) Christian leaders but since the practise is one derived from scripture and the first generation of Christians (including Jesus) we ought to first of all explore the reasons within the scriptures.
The reason given by the New Testament appears to be one grounded in the created order of Adam & Eve. This then seems to be behind the representative responsibility assigned to Adam over Eve (we’re ’in Adam’ not Eve), which seems a derivative of the symbolic meaning of male and female: he is the gardener she is the garden (Song 4), he is likened to Christ, she the church (Eph 5). In no way does this make the woman inferior to Adam, this isn't about a power play, and I'm not suggesting that the creation account presents Eve's identity as 'garden' (she's called is 'helper').
We must show humility before history but we must also show humility before the clear meaning of certain scriptures. When I ask egalitarians to explain some of the classic passages on male and female, I’m often taken on a long excursion to an answer that doesn’t easily help with make sense of whatever verse is sitting on the page in front of me. This is what I mean by ‘plain meaning’. If I can’t say ‘this text means what it appears to say and has always been understood to mean by christians in history’ then it’s probably a sign that I’m allowing prior conclusions to dictate my answer.
For example when Paul writes in Ephesians 5 that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, I ought to be able to explain what that means by saying simply: it means the husband is the head of his wife, head typically meaning 'in authority'. Paul by allying the husband to Christ is directing him to submit his natural authority and societal authority to the example of Jesus. Paul's purpose isn't to say 'the husband is the boss' since everyone believed that already and wives typically suffered under that. Rather it's to say 'husbands are to behave like Jesus.'
Likewise when Paul writes 'I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a woman.' the 'plain' sense of the text is saying: some things are not permitted by Paul for women to do in church. Paul then explains himself (again with recourse to creation), and churches in history have applied this prohibition in various ways. Humility however starts by saying 'how do I submit to this text, even if it grates with me?'
Holding the two sides of the coin (humility and honour) together is the key, I believe, for healthy churches.
Let’s show honour before the gifts that are our sisters in the church family and the gifts that God has given them to use for our good.
Let’s also demonstrate humility before the text and before history.
We needn’t be forced to choose between ‘this’ or ‘that’. There’s always the middle way, albeit the narrow way, of the kingdom of God.